How to Win a Fight with
a Conservative
Outwit and outmock your right-wing rivals with this handy survival
guide, featuring damning facts and witty retorts to taunt Tea Partiers, Bible
Thumpers, and conservative blowhards everywhere. Entertain your
friends and terrify your enemies!
Praise for the Book
“How dare this book try to make conservatives look like idiots.
That’s my job.”
—Michele Bachmann
* * *
“I have people that have been studying this book and they cannot
believe what they're finding. It’s huge! I believe the author has
pulled one of the great cons in the history of politics."
—Donald
Trump
* * *
"This book will lead directly to man-on-dog sex."
—Rick Santorum
* * *
“This book is what Paul Revere was trying to warn the British about
when liberals tried to bring conservatives before death panels
during the Revolutionary squirmish. Please refudiate.”
—Sarah Palin
* * *
“There are three reasons why you should not buy this book. One, it’s
not funny. Two, it makes fun of Republicans, and the third is …
what’s the third one there? I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry.
Oops.”
—Rick Perry
* * *
"I've got this book in my prison cell and it's f**king golden. I'm
just not giving it up for f**king nothing."
—Rod Blagojevich
* * *
“We’ve tried everything from Harry Potter to Heather Has
Two Mommies, but we’ve found that no book burns better than
How to Win a Fight With a Conservative.”
—Pat Robertson
* * *
"Anyone who reads this book is Hitler."
—Glenn Beck
Read more details about the book, look inside, and take the Liberal Identity Quiz
How to
Win a Fight with a Liberal
Lay the smackdown on your left-wing rivals with this handy survival
guide, featuring
cunning strategies and winning tips for sparring with family,
co-workers, or even your Facebook friends. Partisan warfare has
never been so much fun!
Praise for the Book
“The best way to win a fight with a liberal is to strap him to the
roof of your car. The second best way is to use this book.”
—Mitt
Romney
* * *
“This book should be banned in all 57 states.”
—Barack Obama
* * *
“This book will make the oceans rise with the tears of polar bears.”
—Al Gore
* * *
“If this book were just a little fatter, I would hit on it.”
—Bill
Clinton
* * *
“For conservatives, the nine most terrifying words in the English
language are: ‘I'm from the government and I'm here to help.’ For
liberals, the other 30,000 most terrifying words are contained in
this book.”
—ghost of Ronald Reagan
* * *
“I stand firmly against this package of lies about liberals and how
to beat them. I can say with certitude that junk like this should be
yanked off the shelves.”
—Anthony Weiner
* * *
“When I started reading this book, I couldn't take my eyes off it.
No seriously, I can't move my eyes or my face.”
—Nancy Pelosi
* * *
“Hey Barack, have you seen this book? It's a big f**kin deal! Oh
s**t, is this mic on?”
—Joe Biden
Read more details
about the book,
look inside, and take the
Conservative Identity Quiz
