Introduction
|
1
|
Chapter 1: What It Means to Be a Liberal
|
7
|
|
What Breed of Liberal Are You? (Take the quiz) |
10 |
|
The Liberal Manifesto |
16 |
| Rate Your Partisan Intensity Quotient
(PIQ) |
18 |
| What’s Your State of Embattlement? |
21 |
Chapter 2: Know Your Enemy
|
25
|
| The Conservative Manifesto |
26 |
| A Field Guide to the Conservative
Genus |
28 |
| How to Rate a Conservative’s Partisan Intensity
Quotient (PIQ) |
35 |
| Frequently Asked Questions about
Conservatives |
38 |
| A Glimpse into the Conservative
Utopia |
42 |
Chapter 3: Can’t We All Just Get
Along?
|
45
|
|
A Day in the Life of Conservatives vs.
Liberals |
46 |
| Battle of the Bumper Stickers |
50 |
| What Liberals Say vs. What Conservatives
Hear |
52 |
| What Conservatives Say vs. What Liberals
Hear |
54 |
| Common Enemies We Can All Agree to
Hate |
56 |
Chapter 4: Basic Training
|
61
|
|
The 7
Habits of Highly Ineffective
Partisans (Read the list) |
62 |
| How Woefully Ineffective Are You? |
66 |
| How Not to Be an Asshole |
68 |
| The Ten Commandments of Partisan
Warfare |
71 |
| How to Frame the Debate Using Simple Jedi Mind
Tricks |
75 |
| How to Avoid Unhinged Lunatics |
78 |
Chapter 5: How to Win Friends While
Antagonizing People |
81
|
| How to Survive Family Sparring
Matches |
82 |
| What to Do If You’re Sleeping With the
Enemy |
85 |
| How to Manage Workplace Squabbles |
88 |
| How to Clash with Perfect Strangers |
91 |
| How to Properly Engage in Internet Flame
Wars |
94 |
Chapter 6: Advanced Battle Tactics
|
97
|
| How to Detect Bullshit |
98 |
| How to Trip Up a Bullshitter |
101 |
|
How to Spot Logical Fallacies |
103 |
| “Strategery” for the Advanced
Combatant |
108 |
| How to Argue Like a Conservative in Fourteen
Easy Steps |
111 |
| How to Win When You Can’t Win Them
Over |
114 |
Chapter 7: Kick-Ass Arguments: A Step-By-Step
Guide
|
119
|
| Global Warming: Why It’s an Issue of Security
and Morality |
121 |
| Taxes and the Economy: Why Conservatives Are
Fiscally Foolhardy |
126 |
| Defending America: Why Conservatives Aren’t Up
To the Job |
131 |
| Iraq: Why It’s a “Catastrofuck” |
135 |
| Bush: Why He’s the Worst President
Ever |
141 |
Chapter 8: The Conservative Hall of
Shame
|
147 |
| The Wing of Sex Fiends, Perverts, and
Adulterers |
148 |
| The Wing of Unhinged Lunatics and
Sociopaths |
152 |
| The Wing of Morons |
155 |
| The Wing of Crooks and Corrupt
Weasels |
158 |
| The Wing of Chickenhawks |
161 |
Chapter 9: You’ve Won the Battle, Now Help
Win the War
|
163
|
| Six Unconventional Things You Can Do to Save
the World from Conservatives |
164 |
After-Words
|
171
|
|
When All Else Fails: 27,000 Ways to Insult Conservatives |
171 |
Acknowledgments
|
175
|
About the Author
|
179
|
