Introduction
|
xi
|
Chapter 1: What It Means to Be a Liberal
|
1
|
|
What Breed of Liberal Are You? (Take the quiz) |
4 |
|
The Liberal Manifesto |
12 |
| Rate Your Partisan Intensity Quotient
(PIQ) |
15 |
| What’s Your State of Embattlement? |
19 |
Chapter 2: Know Your Enemy
|
23
|
| The Conservative Manifesto |
24 |
| Frequently Asked Questions about
Conservatives |
28 |
| A Field Guide to the Conservative
Genus |
35 |
| Other Conservative Species You May Encounter |
41 |
| How to Rate a Conservative’s Partisan Intensity
Quotient (PIQ) |
43 |
| A Glimpse into the Conservative
Utopia |
47 |
Chapter 3: Can’t We All Just Get
Along?
|
51
|
|
A Day in the Life of Conservatives vs.
Liberals |
52 |
| Battle of the Bumper Stickers |
58 |
| What Liberals Say vs. What Conservatives
Hear |
61 |
| What Conservatives Say vs. What Liberals
Hear |
63 |
| Common Enemies We Can All Agree to
Hate |
66 |
Chapter 4: Basic Training
|
73
|
|
The 7
Habits of Highly Ineffective
Partisans |
74 |
| Dou You Suffer From Argumentile Dysfunction? |
78 |
| How Not to Be an Asshole |
82 |
| The Ten Commandments of Partisan
Warfare |
87 |
| How to Avoid Unhinged Lunatics |
95 |
| How to Detect Bullshit |
98 |
| How to Trip Up a Bullshitter |
102 |
| How to Spot Logical Fallacies |
103 |
| How to Win When You Can't Win Them Over |
108 |
Chapter 5: How to Win Friends While
Antagonizing People |
111
|
| How to Survive Family Sparring
Matches |
112 |
| What to Do If You’re Sleeping With the
Enemy |
116 |
| How to Manage Workplace Squabbles |
119 |
| How to Clash with Perfect Strangers |
123 |
| How to Argue Politics on Facebook and Twitter |
125 |
| How to Properly Engage in Internet Flame
Wars |
130 |
Chapter 6: Kick-Ass Comebacks to Conservative Nonsense
|
137
|
| How to Argue with an Obamaphobe |
138 |
| How to Taunt a Tea Partier |
143 |
| How to Argue with Economic Ignoramuses |
148 |
| How to Clash with Clueless Conservatives on Hot-Button
Issues |
153 |
| How to Argue with Bible-Thumpers |
158 |
| How to Rebut Other Conservative Drivel |
162 |
Chapter 7: The Conservative Hall of
Shame
|
169 |
| The Wing of Batshit Crazy |
170 |
| The Wing of Douche Bags |
177 |
| The Wing of Sex Fiends, Perverts, and Adulterers |
183 |
Chapter 8: How to Use Conservatives’ Own Words against
Them
|
191
|
| Stunningly Moronic Conservative Quotes |
192 |
| Breathtakingly Delusional Conservative Quotes
|
202 |
| Shockingly Sociopathic Conservative Quotes |
212 |
After-Words
|
217
|
|
When All Else Fails: 125,000 Ways to Insult Conservatives |
217 |
Acknowledgments
|
221
|
About the Author
|
224
|
